he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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