She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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