69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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