is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Two words: blizzard sex
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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