i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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