alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
