Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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