I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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