you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
