ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
