it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
