I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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