He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
