if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
