i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
