My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
