I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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