just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Your penis caused this!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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