It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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