I have demons in me.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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