My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
