Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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