We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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