I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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