He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
