The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Panties = found
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
