puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
