Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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