problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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