I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
