Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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