Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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