NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Alive.
So much puke
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
