your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
