Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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