My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
