You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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