I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
