my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
