dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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