Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
