You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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