I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Alive.
So much puke
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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