I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
