he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
