Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
