Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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