Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
