The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
