She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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