it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
