just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
