My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
